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come from very different places in life, and our minds never be the same on this, i'm fairly certain. from my perspective, this entire situation has absolutely NOTHING to do with who owned the house. nothing. not even 1%. from my perspective, that kid was a part of that woman's life before you were. from my perspective, an 8yo gets leniency for not understanding the world, relationships, the way his father acts, his mother acts, or why his mother is cozying up to some strange guy who's not his dad. from my perspective, an ADULT who gets into a relationship with a woman who has, has already thought a LOT about what that means, and what SHE is expecting out of it, and whether her expectations and yours line up or not. (whose house you're living in, who's paying the bills, who's providing care, transportation etc ) Being of that understanding, I would also expect that 'adult' to set boundaries from the beginning with the mother, and subsequently her, if you are going to move them into your house. (this likely would have alleviated the entire situation to begin with.) from my perspective, you and that 8yo were not, nor should be considered to be equals, therefore, his act of physical aggression does not merit a stronger force of physical aggression as 'retaliation,' in order to prove dominance. I cannot pretend to know how I personally would react, because i have never been in, nor witnessed a situation like that. I do know that when I was lbs, (now lbs) restraining the biggest 8yo in the world would not have been difficult. I also know that in the situation that you describe, i cannot even put together a scene in my head where I would take the time to take my belt off, and then use it to, 'whip?' the kid? you weren't in control of him, so he wasn't standing back to you, waiting for a 'belt spanking,' so I don't really how any of this plays out in a reasonable manner.

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